I Have a Flaw
I know what you are thinking...just one flaw??? Well, i do realize that i have way more then that, however, i have been thinking about one more then others lately. I am stubbornly independent. Yes, independence can be a good thing. But when it comes to needing and asking for help from others....well, i just don't like it. I have been thinking more then not lately, that little phrase, If you want something done right-do it yourself. I have become rather particular how i do most everything and becoming a little too much of a perfectionist at silly details that really don't matter to anyone but me.
Why is it so hard to swallow my pride and just let people help me??? For instance, the other day the wood guy came and dropped a mountain of wood in our driveway. My dad, being a wiener decided not to help at all seeing as how mom complained last time he did it-thanks mom. So, i had to put it all in the garage. My mom trying to be helpful, moved the one pile to another b/c i just couldn't let her pile in the garage. There was an order you know. Even that 'help' was frustrating when she piled too high and it kept landing on my foot. Man do i have stubborn pride in my life.
During Bible school, i screwd up my knee and ended up on crutches for what was supposed to be a week or so(i lasted 2 days tops). The guy i went to Christian Service saw me and said that he was kind of glad to see me like that. This blew me away a bit so i asked him to explain. To which he said no, you'll get mad. After some pressing, he said that i finally looked human and actually looked vulnerable. Finally, i had to ask others for help and couldn't get away from it. Interesting i thought. Good to know how people feel. To which got me thinking more-even this week, how do other people really see me. EEE...maybe i don't wanna know. And part of the reason i ditched the crutches early....i hated having to ask others to carry my meal trays, and carry stuff for me. I hate feeling helpless. Good thing God isn't finished with me yet. : )
Why is it so hard to swallow my pride and just let people help me??? For instance, the other day the wood guy came and dropped a mountain of wood in our driveway. My dad, being a wiener decided not to help at all seeing as how mom complained last time he did it-thanks mom. So, i had to put it all in the garage. My mom trying to be helpful, moved the one pile to another b/c i just couldn't let her pile in the garage. There was an order you know. Even that 'help' was frustrating when she piled too high and it kept landing on my foot. Man do i have stubborn pride in my life.
During Bible school, i screwd up my knee and ended up on crutches for what was supposed to be a week or so(i lasted 2 days tops). The guy i went to Christian Service saw me and said that he was kind of glad to see me like that. This blew me away a bit so i asked him to explain. To which he said no, you'll get mad. After some pressing, he said that i finally looked human and actually looked vulnerable. Finally, i had to ask others for help and couldn't get away from it. Interesting i thought. Good to know how people feel. To which got me thinking more-even this week, how do other people really see me. EEE...maybe i don't wanna know. And part of the reason i ditched the crutches early....i hated having to ask others to carry my meal trays, and carry stuff for me. I hate feeling helpless. Good thing God isn't finished with me yet. : )
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