Jumbled Thoughts

So, i went to church this morning for one reason. I went to get new books to read. Then Paul spoke. It was really good and i felt convicted. It wasn't one of those times where you deny and go, well so and so should be hearing this message-it was wow, i needed to hear this message. Being in a position of joblessness and brokeness and frustratedness (it's my word let it be), doesn't give me any right to be whiny and selfish. I can still very well reach out and not be a snob. I've noticed that lately i have a really crappy attitude towards others-even if some deserve it-it's not my place to be a snob. The part of the message that really stuck was when Paul said whatever you do, stand it beside Jesus and then compare. Like Wade wrote: "I ain't nothin". : ) Basically, i think that i need to work on my attitude and try to be more friendly at C&C to people i normally wouldn't talk to.

In other news, i've become really apathetic about my job situation and many other situations in my life and this probably is not a good thing. I'm not content with where i'm at in my relationship with God, or what is happening in my life in general. I'm ready to move away from this city-which i love quite dearly. But i've come to a point where i feel there is nothing left here for me. I'm not saying i don't have any friends, because that is certainly not the case. I have some very dear friends with whom it's rare to ever have troubles with. But at the same time, i just feel like there has to be something better somewhere for me. Now if i just knew where.

New unrealistic dream: move to Costa Rica and learn Spanish for a couple months and then 'pop' down to Panama for awhile and work with people. Now i just need to win the lottery and all shall be well.