I'm Off

I leave tomorrow morning-bright and freaking early-well for me it is anyway. I've had over a month to sleep in now, so i can suck it up. I start staff training at redberry tomorrow until tues. On wed. the little kids come for a short 3 day camp. This is usually my favorite week/half week of camp. It's like being a mom for 10 girls all at once-and then sending them home full of sugar and no sleep.
I'm a little nervous about going back to camp. I've taken a couple years off and now going back with all new people will be interesting. I feel like the old maid of the bunch-even though i haven't met most of the staff yet. I think the idea that i'll be counseling with some of my sr high kids, just makes me feel old and like i'll feel out of place.
I am excited though because i love being outside and after today, pretty much the rest of my summer will be outdoors. :)

Passports on it's way, and should come no later then july 6th, so in terms of that my stress level is much lower. Just 20 days until i get on a plane for Abbotsford and 25 until i leave for actual panama. I can't believe my crazy summer begins tomorrow already-oh my.
I went shopping with pam the other day and found some sweet deals-still missing some stuff yet, but hopefully it'll all be found, like my hostel sheets and thermorest-then again i could always curl up with the monkeys. :)

Chivalry is not dead...

it's just sometimes subtle and we miss it. I know for myself, i'm learning to appreciate the little things in life instead of living off the big items. I've been realizing this last month or so that i've had off that i hang out with some pretty fantastic guys. For the most part they are very much gentlemen(most part ;) ) Now, i realize i can be stubborn and like to do things for myself, but i've also learned that when people do nice things for you, that is good too. I also know how much i've come to appreciate the little things the guys do that they may not think anything about and i doubt that i really ever express that. I appreciate having the door opened for me, even when i don't want to be the first person to walk into a room, i like not having to drive everywhere like a taxi service, and i like when we're picking movies that the guys will tell me not to watch certain movies because it would be too violent, gorey or would make me motion sick. It's in the little things like that that i come to appreciate the male friends God has granted me.

Thank goodness it's almost tomorrow

I have had one heck of a draining day. Today is Father's Day. That would have been fine if mine had talked to me at least once since Wed. So i really didn't know what the day would bring. Church was absolutely brutal. Bruce talked about bad fathers and the like. I sat and tried not to cry through the whole service. Then i went for lunch and to try to find something for my dad. So, i went to the usual place to buy sugar free chocolate-odd, the store is gone, and therefore i am screwd for any future parental gift. I went to the dollar store for a card instead. There i looked at all the cards that said thank you dad and great dad, and you are so special and tried to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. Found one after awhile more or less wishing a happy day/year and thought to myself, well, no matter what, he's still my dad. And so i wrote as much and a little more, left it at his table spot, and hid in my bed for the rest of the day til i left for tim's. I came down and dad says thank you, i'm not mad at u, no matter what your mother and i go through it's not your fault. Words i think i've needed to hear since i was little, and then i held the tears in and nodded. He said that they were going to work things out-something i have never heard dad say-maybe he is slowly changing afterall. Relief. Until pam blows up and storms out of the house. Tim's bbq-good eats, good times. Now i will go and cry.

The day i appreciated automated recordings

Wow, never thought i'd be happy to hear an automated voice on the phone, but today, it gave me a little relief. I need a passport for my trip. Between my car not working and then it being in the shop, i didn't have time to go downtown before yesterday. Too bad my garunteer(or whatever they are) voided my passport app. They had whited out their name because it was in the wrong spot. Great, now i have to wait til monday. I looked at the application and it said it takes 20 working days to get back-at which point i really started to freak out(it wasn't pretty at all) and frantically started searching for the phone number. So, i call some 1-800 number and the voice over says if u hand it in in person, it takes 10 working days-okay, not as bad as i thought. i'm still worried, but not as much-if i go monday it should be here july 6. 9 days before i leave-still a little panicked-but maybe i'll survive once i get to the office on monday.

On a totally different side note, please please pray for my family. My dad is once again threatening to sell the house split it and everything 50/50. Hopefully it blows over, coming home from camp to living in an apartment would be a shitty thing.

Shots Party

Well the party is done, and i am sleepy. Though, i'm wondering if it's me or the 2 needles i got that are making me as such. Thank goodness only one arm is sore, i was worried about not getting any sleep(i sleep on my sides only), but looks like we're good to go.
Man, there was soo much food, the people at Healthserv know what they are doing! So friendly and nice. If anyone need immunization for stuff, let me know and i'll hook u up!
It's really good to know the details of my packing list too-i think i may need some trial packing times before the big day. I know that i am super bad for being over-prepared and over packing.
28 days and counting!

Man my Blog Rocks!

heehee look! i have a new blog look. :) Thanx to Matt who pretty much did it all for me(i am definitely not very 'puter literate!) (29 days!)

For the Love of Pete!

So, my car started acting silly. Fine, take it to a garage-get it fixed-so if it's fixed why is it still broken????? This amazing mechanic of my dad's sucks! i took it in for one reason-he fixed other stuff-but not what i wanted fixed! oh for the love. It would be super sweet if something would work out 100% just once without a whole whack of crap surrounding it.

On a side note, i got an interesting email today from Kevin about our 'shots' party on thursday. Shots as in needles for Panama-our whole group is getting them done together. The lady who is giving our shots is really friendly and bubbly-which is good-i didn't even feel the first one. Her distributor liked our idea of the shots party and is flying here from somewhere and is buying us a ton of food! Even fruity drinks with little umbrellas! oh my. They are coming dressed in latin american garb, so now the rest of us will be too-apparantly. And check this out, the star phoenix is coming as well to do an article-how nuts is that?

So, i get on my first plane ever in exactly a month today. It will also be my second, third, fourth, fifth....etc. time on a plane-we seem to have a lot of flight changes. Actually, with the trip, every time we get together, kevin will announce a new change. :) It's funny, i'm not usually open to change at all, but with this trip, it really hasn't bothered me.
This will also be my first time leaving North America or riding in a dug out canoe for hours on the ocean close by the equator at 2am with whatever jungle animals come out at nite in the jungle...oh my, what was i thinking?

I think i'm falling in love. Okay, now before everyone starts speculating over with whom, it's really not one individual. No matter how worried i get about what i may encounter in Panama, my heart is growing more fond of the people over there more every day. It's soo weird. Is it possible to love people you've never met before? I mean i've had dreams about these people, and i'd never even heard of them until a few months back. How odd life is.

Kiss the Rain

I have really come to appreciate rainy days. I'm not into the grey days where it's just grey and yucky, but when it's raining, i really like it. I think it gives off a cozy kind of warm feeling. For me anyway. I like walking in the rain, and puddle jumping-oh puddle jumping. : ) It doesn't matter how old you get, puddle jumping is still fun. I haven't done so for a couple years and well, i think i miss it. The last time a bunch of us were at Wade's and it was he who started sliding down the hill of mud on his stomach. That then led to being tackled on the mud hill and running through the streets in the rain and jumping in puddles. Oh good times! : ) It's a good thing Wade had a bunch of clothes handy-i also remember that none of us there had extra clothes-and so laundry was quickly done.

The only time i'm not a fan of rain is when my parents are gone somewhere and our stupid basement is turned into a constant creek which i have to vaccum up! You would think people would figure some downfalls to building a brand new neighborhood on a swampy area-which is exactly what they did-i remember what our street looked like before-yuck!

Thanx to everyone who came to the bbq last nite-good times were had by all i hope. Even though i lost yet another game of Settler's-what else is new?! Dutch Blitz was good-at least i was good at something! Stupid Rook game where people kept calling me as partner and taking me down! Though my kamakazie bid was fun. : ) I really enjoyed 'fellowshipping' with people i haven't seen in awhile and hang out with the girls-until the boys came later. : )

But, back to my basement. Go for a walk in the rain today and 'kiss the rain'! Or call me to go walk-it sucks goofing in the rain alone!

I Can Walk!...almost

I went to I-40 with our grade 12's this past weekend and had a really awesome time. It was really good to catch up with some of the grads who have been pretty busy lately, and also with some of the other leaders whom i haven't spent a lot of time with lately. It was really good to get away for a couple days to enjoy God's creation. The beach was pretty fun too-even with the nasty leg burns.
20 days til i leave for camp adn 39 days til Panama-not that i'm counting. I'm getting less excited and more worried about stuff that needs to be done and a little scared about running off to the jungle-being the ignorant city girl that i am. Oh well, such is life. :)

All Done

Well it's officially over and done with. I is a graduate yet again. I had my TA grad last nite-and it really wasn't a big deal. As usual our class was in the back and talking through the whole program-but we had more fun goofing around then listening-we didn't even know we had a principal! Apparently he's also not the janitor-whoops!
It was good to see my classmates again-our class was tight :) though i'll probly keep in touch with only a few. Our class was interesting-basically the non-Christians and a bunch of mennonites-heehee-which led to some interesting debates which went on forever! Yet we got along for the most part. The cool thing was that a friend from Hepburn sings at her church sometimes and invites one of the non-Christian girls from our class to hear her-and this last week she went and is considering going again.:) yeah! It's cool to see God working in our class.
And now off to get ready for a weekend of fun with our grade 12 youth kids at our 'undisclosed location' heehee. I'm excited-it's supposed to be super hot-i'll come back crispy as usual!

Changes

I think i am finally getting used to the idea that life is constantly changing no matter what we do to stop it. For instance, before last year, i never would have seriously considered going on a 'real' missions trip. Now, i haven't even left the country for a second one and i'm contemplating finding more opportunities to travel and minister.
For years i thought i would be a teacher, and had dreams of going to university to do so. God had other plans. I wanted to be a teacher, in charge of students and helping them to learn-God wanted me to take a non-leading role and be a teacher associate. This has lead to struggles in my own mind. I realize that by being a TA, i'm still in an important role, but i'm stubborn and want to be in charge. I find it frustrating when people say "it's okay, you won't be a real teacher-you're just a TA", i start believing that myself and it brings me down-and sometimes the voice that says that is my own. I know that God has put my in this position for a reason and that He has great plans for me, but it's not always easy to not understand why and go with it.
Right now, i have no idea where life my take me, and for once, i'm okay with that and not frustrated. So far, God seems to know what He's doing in my life and it hasn't been too terrible so far ;). I guess i need to rely on trust that something will happen when it needs to.
I'm also contemplating moving-out of my parents house, but also the province. I've been thinking on this awhile now, but lately, it seems more plausible. I don't really have anything left here for me. My close friends will be away at school and in Thailand, i have no real job at this point, and there isn't anyone in particular to stay for, so it is quite a possibility. I've had an invite to Edmonton repeatedly, so maybe the job hunt will now encompass Edmonton, and possibly Calgary. Who knows what's in store?!